i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
