Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
