can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
