i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
