Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
