Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
