I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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