I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
