I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
