I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
