Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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