I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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