Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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