I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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