i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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