There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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