I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
