hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
