11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
