im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
