I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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