The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
