LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
