Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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