.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
