that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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