Small penises have feelings too.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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