you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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