he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
