Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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