I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
