Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
