She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
