If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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