I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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