Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
