you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
