this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
