I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
