Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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