honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
