We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
