lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
