Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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