508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
