mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
