Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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