I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
