Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
