I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just pee around me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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